Cheeky Quotes

Monday, 22 July 2013

Ten Pearls of Wisdom

There is an unwritten rule that says now I'm in my 'advanced' years I can share pearls of wisdom with others. The rule doesn't make clear whether others listen. However, it is of no consequence to me if they do or don't. In other words, I don't give a shit! All I know is that the following things, in no particular order of importance, are certain and true.


Pearl 1: Cosmetics will not make anyone beautiful, overnight or otherwise and, when we all come to our senses, the cosmetic industry will be put on trial for crimes against humanity and nature (and false advertising). 

Pearl 2: You will get laid regardless of what you look like because sex has nothing to do with looks, everything to do with your brain. Good sex starts in the brain and is intelligent. Good sex is fucking fantastic!

Pearl 3: You can never have enough teaspoons and tea towels.  Believe me.

Pearl 4: Reality TV is the same as the freak shows that used to be attached to a circus and just as obscenely horrible.

Pearl 5: The only way to know if you are a successful parent is if your offspring don't grow up to be axe-murderers, drug dealers, obscenely wealthy, human traffickers or recidivists. These people and people like them are NOT, repeat NOT, fully functioning, authentic human beings.

Pearl 6: Nobody cares what colour your hair is, whether it is long, short, or middling or what style you adopt. Honest, no one gives a rat’s arse.

Pearl 7: The sky will not fall in if you wear the same clothes twice in the same week. Honest! Most people won't even notice and those that do notice are the fashion police and they are to be ignored at all costs. 

Pearl 8: The only real best friend you will EVER have is a dog!

Pearl 9:  Shaving your legs, or any other part of your body, is a complete and utter waste of time.  

Pearl 10: 60% of what you learn will be of no use to you in everyday life. But, learning stuff is such kick-arse fun!

There you have it, just some of the things I've learnt in almost three score years and ten. Now, go live your life in the way you want. Wisdom is highly overrated.


8 comments:

  1. Posts like this make me want to give you a hug! You know what's important in life. It takes years to figure this out and I'm right there with you. What's inside a person matters far more than the exterior. Makeup can't cover an ugly soul. Keep up the great writing! :-)

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    1. Thank you Chrisor. It's nice to meet someone who has a similar outlook on life. I tried to make some of them funny or light hearted but I find it harder to be funny in writing than in general conversation.

      Thank you for stopping by again, always lovely to see you and I'm so grateful for your encouragement.

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  2. I miss seeing your blog posts. I hope you're doing well and just busy. I hope you'll either write soon or figure out how to get on Twitter so I can interact with you more often! :-)

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    1. What a nice thing to say! You are kind.

      Sorry, I'm not a tweeter. It gave me the irrits when I tried it and I have enough of them in my life without adding more. I've been unwell for a while and haven't felt like writing. Plus, of all the places to live in Aussie land I happen to live in an internet dead spot that has me tearing my hair out trying to get connected. Having come up with the solution of staying online permanently and feeling a bit better health wise I may start writing again. It is nice to get encouragement from the interwebs too. Thank you.

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  3. Hi Tez, I found you via Mimsie's blog, I'm River from Drifting Through Life.
    I like your pearls of wisdom very much.

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    1. How lovely of you to drop by and thank you for your kind words. I think I've seen your comments on other blogs. I'll return the favour and check out your blog. Now I must reactivate mine, I've been a bit neglectful of this poor old blog ;-)

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  5. I LOVE this list. Definitely pearls. And I noticed a theme - of not giving a rat's arse - which is vital to maturity, Tez, truly. Why do people care so much about what people think about their hair/make-up/clothes. If only I'd learnt this in my youth.

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